Beckett of the Mnemosyne (
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snowblindrpg2016-05-29 07:43 am
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[network] @Mnemosyne; text Day 122, after the obits;All return to nothing [open]
In the interest of professional gloating, I would like to record that weeks ago, Angel and I developed the theory that Norfinbury was created and powered by a vastly powerful entity, supernatural or extraterrestrial in origin, which was discovered and unwisely harnessed to human use, and is as much a prisoner here as we are. The admin being only a component. In light of new evidence, I believe the traditional saying is nyah nyah told you so.
It mentioned protocols and insisted they were important. You can all take it from here. I'm no good for this game anymore.
It mentioned protocols and insisted they were important. You can all take it from here. I'm no good for this game anymore.
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It wears. [His voice is quiet. He remembers their nighttime talk, and the answers he never got - the answers Enoch couldn't give.] I thought that, once you were aware of the divine will, to deviate from it would be... that is a test, the worst test of all, to know that there is a right path, but that you will not know even if you have chosen it, not until the end.
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God has a plan, this I am sure of, but...I think it's larger than any single one of us. Our own movements, unless He deems otherwise, don't matter. I have been many places, and have seen many things. Many cultures, many ways of clothing oneself, of preparing food, of caring for family, of seeing to the dead. Many ways of defining truth, evil, justice, and love. The Archangels never had any damning comment unless the Fallen Angels had something to do with any of it.
What man does belongs to man, to his own life. The only task God has given us is to take care of our home. Our tests, unless God has intervened with His own hand, are only against ourselves.
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But there is a right path. A path in which you do not fail and die. Your movements do matter. [A hint of bitterness steals back into his voice. He shakes his head.] Forgive me, I know you will say it’s a burden. But free will seems a worse one, if there’s no real meaning to it.
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[He doesn't think twice about giving the angel's name, so caught up in the discussion itself he forgets how uncomfortable the name made Clayton.]
The meaning in free will is that it can be whatever its owner wants it to be. That is anything but a burden, in my mind. The purpose of free will is that it is ours, and should never be taken away.
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[As attempts at levity go, this one is doomed from the start, which is why perhaps it's a good thing that he stops, startled, before he can take it any further.]
I'm sorry, did you say Lucifer?
[Not quite. But close enough. He cannot imagine Enoch has not run across someone who's been taken aback before, after this long in Norfinbury.]
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Lucifel. [Surprisingly, he hasn't had much of an issue beyond Clayton's initial reaction, partially because of said reaction and partially because it simply never came up.] That's his name in the original tongue. It does live on in "Lucifer" and "Helel", though, so you are...somewhat right.
[And then there's Phosphorous, which has no ties to the original version of the name whatsoever, it just happens to be the closest translation. Oh, Babel, you made things so complicated. Lucifel somehow keeps straight all the names he earned when Babel split the common tongue asunder, and Enoch has no idea how he does it. The gift of tongues has limited use when it comes to proper names.
Anyway, they are talking about his best friend; he can't help but smile brightly even given the situation.]
The highest of Archangels, called God's own right hand by the others. His sense of humor takes some adjusting to, but it's the strongest friendship I've ever had.
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And almost innocent. He doesn't quite want to say what he's going to say next, but he is a doubter. He can hardly say anything else, though he speaks a little haltingly.]
You'll have to pardon me for asking, but - you are aware of the meaning that the names you've mentioned would invoke to modern humans. In a number of worlds, at least.
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Honestly, I don't know what to make of it.
[He sounds a little tentative, himself, hearing Beckett's tone. He's never heard him hesitate like that. That's the tone of someone bearing bad news.]
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In the Christian tradition of the world as I know it, the name Lucifer is often identified with the Devil. [His voice takes on a detached lecturing tone. This is, after all, just theology.] A term with a complex lineage, possibly derived from misappropriation of the Latin translation of certain Hebrew Biblical phrases - from the term Helel, as it happens. Essentially apocryphal, but very well entrenched, along with the image of the Devil as highest of the angels cast down to Earth - or hell - after a war in heaven. Of course, the Christian origin makes this is all long past your time.
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[He is confused by this. Extremely confused. First God willingly giving up souls to demons for punishments they couldn't have known about, and now the highest of the Archangels cast out?]
Lucifel is prideful, but he is the most loyal angel I know.
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[He trails off. This is completely pointless. He can turn his long-tried scholarly attitude to the problem all he wants, but Enoch has met the man. Met God in Heaven, apparently. It makes analysis... difficult.]
... do you know any disloyal angels?
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[Despite all of this, Beckett's interpretation of Lucifel's role in the story at large is more or less correct, aside from Satan being a different being entirely.
That said, he's interested in what the future might think of angels and Heaven - Beckett's scholarly approach has piqued his interest, an angle he doesn't usually see when it comes to Heaven and its denizens. He wonders if this sort of thing is normal in the future, and what such a discussion between people might look like, two or more people looking very logically at something with scant logical evidence to approach by its very design. A worship of conjecture, devotion shown by attempting to understand rather than lauding the inability to?
He's a little disappointed that he's stopped.]
I don't know the name as a disloyal angel though, I think. But...the Grigori. At least two were still loyal, but otherwise they thought themselves superior creators.
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He tries to tell himself, so it's true in one world; what does that mean? Does it mean so much? But he can't brace himself with that logic now, not effectively. Not enough to keep the hints of a tremor from his voice.]
As I've said, it's - it is essentially a misattribution. There is a Biblical Satan, but his identification with the name Lucifer is a latter development. Humans get their own history and culture wrong all the time, especially when interpretation becomes a point of difference between factions. There's no reason to think...
[He stops. Takes a deep breath. It helps as much as breathing ever does.]
No one's mentioned the Book of Enoch to you either, have they?
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Dio mentioned an "apocryphal" book about myself and the Grigori - is that the same book?
[Dio. Another friend dead and gone. With Clayton's departure, somehow it hits him harder. There's too much death, and it isn't like home, he can't simply just move on, go away, grab his immortal friends and cling to them like glue...
...except he's not even immortal anymore. So if he'll die one day too, why does it still hurt?]
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[Actually, there is no reason for him to think Enoch knows. It's a specific term with a specific use, a term for scholars. Not for people who have supposedly lived through the events in the works described with a word that often just means false or tacked on.]
It's a fairly unique work, in its attribution of mankind's moral decline to the influence of the fallen angels, who have descended to Earth, mated with mortal women producing a monstrous race of giants, and taught mankind all sorts of forbidden arts. Crafting weapons from metal, casting fortunes, reading the heavens... making eyeshadow [He manages a weak wry snort.] It is also a piece of apocalyptic literature. As it happens. Predicting a final confrontation to come between good and evil.
[Just. Keep talking scholarship.]
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The only "apocrypha" about any of this is how little credit the writer gave us! And this notion that we were somehow made immoral by the zeal of angels with misguided notions of guidance! We were offered help that seemed to do no harm; we are no more immoral for it than they were malicious.
Not to mention it's...wrong, beyond that. We were already making weapons of copper. Azazel and Semyaza taught crafting weapons from iron - which was never forbidden, only something we were meant to discover ourselves. Fortunes and makeup existed long before their fall, and travelers have guided themselves by the sun and stars since we looked up and saw they were reliable.
[His voice quiets, then, beyond the disbelief and into...almost pain.]
I pity whoever thinks we are so spiritually weak, and so...slow of mind. This book is named after me...how could anyone think I would ever disparage humanity like this?
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It would have been good to meet him under very different circumstances.]
You are, supposedly, the author. In the first person at that. Though that rarely means anything when holy writings are concerned. If it were you -
[And he stops. No matter how much he tries, that is still a sticking point he can't overcome by sticking to his scholarship. If it were you, then what else is true? What else is real?
But Enoch is offering him a way out, here, or at least some breathing room. He strains towards it. Strains to breathe.]
These texts - they're very rarely factual, there is always misunderstanding, miscommunication - that is the whole point of scholarship. If everything were true as written, there would have - there would have been no point. We have to assume that - that -
[Strains, and fails. His voice cracks, and he tries to conceal it by clearing his throat, breathless.] - need a moment - I'm sorry.
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He makes a single noise of protest at hearing that, indeed, these ideas were attributed directly to him, as his own words, but Beckett keeps talking and he doesn't try to stop him, until he's stopped, himself.]
I'm sorry. We could resume this in writing when you have stopped traveling for the night, if it would be more comfortable?
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[Ragged and bitter, almost angry at himself that he's allowed himself to be dragged quite so far into the conversation, pulled by his own fascination - his continued fascination - which is practically like hope, except a lot colder. Beckett lingers, trying to calm his shallow, catching breath, swallowing weary coughs. Finally he shakes his head, glad that Enoch can't see how much he needs the violent gesture to ground himself.]
I'm sorry. I wish I could give you more. All of this is speculation. Scholarship built on sand... I don't know where it went wrong. [Where truth became such lies that would infuriate the man who spoke that first truth...] We can speak later if you wish. But I won't have anything essentially different to offer.
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[Enoch quiets considerably. The more he thinks of Beckett's discomfort, the more unsettled it makes him feel.]
You...you didn't want to finish that sentence. "If it were you"... Has something in my story, or this story that claims to be mine, hurt you?
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And he pauses. He didn't finish the sentence. He doesn't think he can explain to Enoch just why. The implications would be lost on him. For him, all of this is truth. Simple, lived truth. God and all.]
Not as... no. It isn't about your story. It's a question of... it is difficult to be confronted with proof of what you've always taken as parable. Just as I'm sure it's difficult to hear that the truth you know has been turned into a parable you hardly recognise.
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[It was a shock, for himself, but after centuries of living with it as fact, the fiction he'd grown up with feels too far away to own anymore.]
I could...try to answer questions?
[He probably shouldn't, honestly - Heaven wasn't meant to guide humanity directly. But he's aching for the company of someone else in the know, now, after spending so long separated from all his divine companions.]
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He'd have leapt at this opportunity once, before. Enoch could give him answers. But they would be the answers of another world, a world in which his kind had never existed. Like the unnerving curse that marked Lucita's Clan, looking in the mirror and seeing everything but yourself.
It could drive a man mad.]
No. Perhaps another time. Thank you, but - no.