[For the first time the Joker shows his face to the Network. His features are gaunt, slightly crazed, and oddly clown-like.

He smiles into the camera almost flirtatiously and waves with his fingertips.]

Hello, honeys, it's your pal Jack White here... Or the Joker. Jeepers me, I guess that little secret is out by now.

[He coughs into his fist.]

Anyhoo, let me get to the point.

By now everyone is probably deciding that the next logical step is to dig deep.

Before you all grab your shovels and ice picks I advise you to think.

[He taps the side of his head.]

Don't go doing anything crazy now! Hahah...

If you do, you might find the punchline to this whole cruel gag is not terribly funny.

[A thoughtful pause.]

Oh, and if anyone sees the United States tell him I think he has my stuff. I want my stuff back.