Stephanie Brown (
spoileralert) wrote in
snowblindrpg2016-05-01 03:11 pm
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Entry tags:
- alphonse elric (fullmetal alchemist),
- america (hetalia),
- gregory house (house md),
- joker (dc),
- kunsel (final fantasy vii),
- sheena fujibayashi (tales of symphonia),
- squall "leon" leonhart (kingdom hearts),
- stephanie brown (dc),
- steve rogers (mcu),
- zach spencer (lazer team),
- zack fair (final fantasy vii),
- zell dincht (final fantasy viii)
[network] @Spoiler; died awesomely; Night 111 [open] cw: suicidal ideation, death
[ Video ]
So...
[ It is after lockdown and Steph looks flushed, both with cold and delight. She's sitting outside the locked door to the post office. She doesn't know quite what to say for a moment. She probably should have waited until she had that figured out to make this post. ]
So, I think we all know what happens next. And I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I took a chance, and I know that this doesn't just affect me.
[ She tries to keep a straight face, but she can't help a grin at the memory of skateboarding through frickin ice stalagmites in a life or death race against time. ]
But I also want to say that it was totally worth it. Turns out it takes most of the day to get through the tunnels to the post office, even on a skateboard. And it was completely awesome. If there's a way to win at dying, I'm pretty sure I just did it. So take that, Snowhell.
So...
[ It is after lockdown and Steph looks flushed, both with cold and delight. She's sitting outside the locked door to the post office. She doesn't know quite what to say for a moment. She probably should have waited until she had that figured out to make this post. ]
So, I think we all know what happens next. And I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I took a chance, and I know that this doesn't just affect me.
[ She tries to keep a straight face, but she can't help a grin at the memory of skateboarding through frickin ice stalagmites in a life or death race against time. ]
But I also want to say that it was totally worth it. Turns out it takes most of the day to get through the tunnels to the post office, even on a skateboard. And it was completely awesome. If there's a way to win at dying, I'm pretty sure I just did it. So take that, Snowhell.
@LELRIC; voice
It's taken several days of silence and solitude but he's just about found his core of determination once more, just in time to see this.
Her smile makes his heart ache viciously.]
Steph... [How can she say it's worth it?] This isn't right, it's not worth it. It's-- it's never worth it. Never.
voice ; private
I had to do something, Al. I just... I can't take being powerless anymore.
voice; private
[His voice is heavy, heart aching viciously. It's why he vanished for nearly a week, he couldn't cope with feeling so powerless as everyone he cared about died and suffered any more. He has no right to tell her off, no right to judge her choices.
It doesn't make it easier.]
But why this? What good will you dying do for anyone?
voice; private
It was worth a try. It was fun. [ She blinks away tears, and is glad this is voice and not video. ]
Whatever else happens, I had a great time, and nothing can take that away from me. I know that's stupid and selfish, but I was willing to die for it.
no subject
It also makes him angry.
Furious, in fact, so much so that his voice is trembling when he manages to choke words out again.]
You're right, that is stupid. Only an idiot chooses death. [An echo of something he had said to Ed once upon a time.] How do you know you'll come back this time? You don't! And if you don't, then you've-- you've thrown it all away just for this.
You're not powerless, you can make a difference to help us all get back home, but not if you throw your life away. Stephanie, why?!
no subject
All my notes are in a leather journal. There are a few pages in the back... I ripped them out. They were just in case I didn't make it down the slope. [ She takes a breath, steadies herself. There are things she still has to say, things she can't let herself lose the courage for. ] But I did. And I'm here now, and I can say goodbye myself.
I-- [ She chokes, looks around for the letter she ripped out and balled up just a minute ago, then decides that won't actually help. ] I'm sorry we didn't get to-- [ this is not going according to plan abort ABORT ]
I'm sorry I let you down. I-- I-- [ She can't say it. Her throat freezes up and she just cries and cries. ]
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
no subject
[He's so angry at her, so incredibly furious that she would risk something as precious as her life for something as petty as an hour or two of fun. He wants to shake her, punch her, scream at her. He also wants to hold her tightly and never let go, because it feels like his heart is being ripped right out.
She is his best friend here, the closest person he has now that Ed has gone again, and he hasn't even had chance to see her properly.]
Steph... Stephanie, please.
[He knows it's futile, cruel even, but he can't stop himself. His voice is a dry and cracked tremble, aching for real tears that are impossible for him to cry. He can't lose another. He just can't.]
no subject
I'm glad I... got to talk to you again. Just in case.
no subject
He loves her deeply, she's almost as close to him as Winry, but he can't agree with the dead returning no matter who they are. He learned that lesson with his mother, he can't accept it again. Even Ed, even though he misses his brother as if there is a hole in his heart, he can't wish for him to return.
So what can he say?
There's the sound of a muffled dry sob in the background, a clattering of metal and shaking fingers fumble the tablet, and then nothing but silence as he hangs up.]