Alphonse Elric (
armoured) wrote in
snowblindrpg2017-09-03 09:36 am
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[network] @LELRIC; day 276; morning [open]
[It's been a while since Al has addressed everyone, since he's helped the newcomers out as much as he should, since he's been himself. But he's here now, voice still young sounding but having lost the weariness he's had over the past few weeks. There's determination there again now, a fire that won't go out.]
I owe an apology... actually, I owe a lot.
There are people that I hurt when I wasn't myself, people that I scared, and I'm sorry. I should have said that earlier but-- but I was scared, I didn't want to see what I'd done, and I thought it was best if I just left you all alone. I understand that some of you might not want to see me again, or talk to me, or trust me; that's okay. I'll let you come to me, or not, it's your choice.
There are also people who tried to comfort me and tell me that it wasn't my fault, and I turned my back on them and ran away. I'm sorry, you were right. It wasn't my fault, just like it wasn't the fault of anyone else here, and I only realised that because of some things two people said to me. Dr. Watson told me that I'm not special, that I shouldn't have thought I could fight it if everyone else couldn't, and he was right. None of us are exempt from this, and we need to stop behaving like when it's us, when it's personal, then it's different. And the Cat told me that he knew it wasn't me, because he knew I did everything with my whole heart so if I'd been fighting it, then I'd been fighting with my whole heart too and that meant there was nothing else I could do.
He's right.
And I'm still going to put my whole heart into fighting this, and I'm not going to break, I'm just not. I've lost too many people who would be so angry with me for giving up, I don't want all of that loss and all of this pain to be for nothing. So I'm still here to help if anyone needs me, and I'll still try to protect everyone if I can. And I hope... I hope you'll all do the same.
Uh-- that's it.
I owe an apology... actually, I owe a lot.
There are people that I hurt when I wasn't myself, people that I scared, and I'm sorry. I should have said that earlier but-- but I was scared, I didn't want to see what I'd done, and I thought it was best if I just left you all alone. I understand that some of you might not want to see me again, or talk to me, or trust me; that's okay. I'll let you come to me, or not, it's your choice.
There are also people who tried to comfort me and tell me that it wasn't my fault, and I turned my back on them and ran away. I'm sorry, you were right. It wasn't my fault, just like it wasn't the fault of anyone else here, and I only realised that because of some things two people said to me. Dr. Watson told me that I'm not special, that I shouldn't have thought I could fight it if everyone else couldn't, and he was right. None of us are exempt from this, and we need to stop behaving like when it's us, when it's personal, then it's different. And the Cat told me that he knew it wasn't me, because he knew I did everything with my whole heart so if I'd been fighting it, then I'd been fighting with my whole heart too and that meant there was nothing else I could do.
He's right.
And I'm still going to put my whole heart into fighting this, and I'm not going to break, I'm just not. I've lost too many people who would be so angry with me for giving up, I don't want all of that loss and all of this pain to be for nothing. So I'm still here to help if anyone needs me, and I'll still try to protect everyone if I can. And I hope... I hope you'll all do the same.
Uh-- that's it.
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I am ...hoping it could work. It's worth looking into.
[Said in the slightly woeful tone of a man of who is used to hoping for something but is always prepared for things to not work out. Things seldom do, especially for him.]
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[He won't crush this poor guy's hope by saying that people have been trying to look into that for a long time without success, it might be that he'll be the one to find the way.]
You should talk to Angel and Rhys, they know more about the nanomachines than anyone else I know.
no subject
I'll keep that in mind.
[He blows out a sighing, shuddering breath as the snap of freezing air blows through him again. How does anyone adjust to this sort of weather?]
Oh!
I...never introduced myself, did I?
I'm chaos.
no subject
[Considering his username scrawled everywhere in town and his name is listed right alongside it. In the Guide as well.]
no subject
no subject
[People he won't forget, that he still fights in the name of.]
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[He suspected that but it still saddens him to hear.]
One way or another we will find a way to prevent this from happening again. We'll stop this world from pulling in more life forms...
I'm sure of it.
[Hopefully as he's mentioned by giving it a way to find a life of its own where the old inhabitants are still honored and new ones can learn from their history... Where light has returned and a new destiny can be formed.
But if terminating the cycle means destroying this world then chaos feels grimly prepared for that as well. It's what he does, after all, he just hates doing it.]
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[It's a surety that's been eroded away in time and gone through periods of ups and downs, but it's never gone away entirely. He couldn't carry on if he didn't have proper hope that they could get this done.]
We'll make sure this never happens again, and we'll get everyone home. We just have to keep moving forwards until we find the right way.